I have always wanted to say this. Read it in not many of the texts i have read. Heard it by not many of the sound voices of our society. Observed it more than a countless time. “Them boys ain’t no good if they cry. ”
“Boys don’t cry. ”
“Boys shouldn’t cry”.
“Are you a child ? what are these tears for? Man up, mate. Men don’t cry.”
“I can’t believe you man, you’re crying? ”
“Oh, for Gods’ sake, stop winning about your problems, be a man.”
“It’s hard to believe you’re a man with all these tears running down your face”.
“Hush now, boys don’t cry”.
“what are you, a girl? complaining about your problem.”
“Hahahaha you tell what’s bothering you like girls do. (LoL)”
“I don’t wanna talk about it, i’m not a girl ! ”
“dude, you tell your mom about everything that bothers you? what are you? a child? Men don’t do that, they deal with it, alone. ”
I call bullshit !!
If only this cruel practice was not carried out when we were kids our Boys would have been more emotionally stable. They would have been confident to face their insecurities. Talk about what bothered them. Speak up for them selves and for the people they care about. They wouldn’t have been emotionally unavailable.
Boys do cry. They should. They can. It’s beautiful. Someone once told me “Crying is letting your brain take over you emotionally and nothing is more beautiful than trusting your self .” and i’d say this is the best advise I was ever given.
Talking thing over with someone who understands is never wrong. Sharing it with your wife, your friends, family, best friends irrespective of the gender is OKAY. You could either bottle up things that make you feel depressed and eventually turn you into a pessimist and a lunatic or you could chose to walk the other path that does make you breakdown a few walls but helps you builds healthier boundaries. It could be anyone. Your long lost best friend or the guy who sits next to you in class and you just can’t stand him. Or maybe that girl that plays football in your team and your’e too shy to talk. being in friends with people what Click. it very healthy.
It takes a lot of nerve to open up to someone and only strong people can do that. being strong isn’t important. Feeling strong is though. I wish the mothers of our society had raised our boys to feel strong rather than to be strong. but we can start now. You and I. We can help. We can change our perspective about friendships , life and success. sometimes I do not understand if it’s our perspective that has made us so blind to the realities of our “well groomed society” or if we chose to ignore them. getting into a better place requires opening up. sharing your laughs and your tears. only if they had fantasized our boys like they fantasized our girls. A dash of glitter and carriage with a unicorn and all the jewels of the world. it wouldn’t have hurt to also write ” a set of die-cast cars and a whole track to build that takes you anywhere”.
Around me i’v seen many boys who live with the feeling that even their own family doesn’t love them. Fathers raise their sons like their fathers had raised them and grand fathers treat them like their grand fathers had treated them. I hear around me this is a male dominated society but in some spheres of life I have observed it is much more a female dominate society than anything else. The stand of feminism has made us Cruel instead of passionate for a set goal. although this also has its own reasons but my point is why in the race of equality have we fallen so far.
Some where in all this madness there is a child who wakes up every day making sure he makes his family proud and treats his mates right but as the days go by he changes into this lonely little boy who fears his own family and bears all sorts of remarks about himself and then becomes unavailable. this single word holds all that he might be going through ” unavailable”- emotionally. physically. mentally. spiritually and all those other words that describe that he’s shutting down and closing people out.
Then to this adds the game of “better grades”. it’s been proven by a research held out by physiologist all around the world that the amount of anxiety in the teenager of today is the same as the level of anxiety in prisoners of the 1950 asylum. I know two brothers belonging to the same father. one of them gets zero appreciation while the other scores less yet stills gets remarkable appreciation by the father. Maybe unintentionally but this is the fathers fault that now this child of his has become a prey to alcohol and drugs. Telling your son that you appreciate his efforts won’t make you less of a father and taking a stand for the fathers unjust behaviors won’t make you any less of a feminist mother.
I can very openly say that WOMEN ARE CRUEL TO MEN AS MEN ARE CRUEL TO THEM. but if we don’t change this we will be breeding princesses full of dreams and princes full of foolish games that end up making a shallow feminist. I dare to see a world when our boys feel free to express them selves and are catered the same amount of love and support as our little girls because this is the time when we make our children either beautiful or broken.
PS: this goes out to all those who see such treatment and stay quite.