Them BOYs.

I have always wanted to say this. Read it in not many of the texts i have read. Heard it by not many of the sound voices of our society. Observed it more than a countless time. “Them boys ain’t no good if they cry. ”
“Boys don’t cry. ”
“Boys shouldn’t cry”.
“Are you a child ? what are these tears for? Man up, mate. Men don’t cry.”
“I can’t believe you man, you’re crying? ”
“Oh, for Gods’ sake, stop winning about your problems, be a man.”
“It’s hard to believe you’re a man with all these tears running down your face”.
“Hush now, boys don’t cry”.
“what are you, a girl? complaining about your problem.”
“Hahahaha you tell what’s bothering you like girls do. (LoL)”
“I don’t wanna talk about it, i’m not a girl ! ”
“dude, you tell your mom about everything that bothers you? what are you? a child? Men don’t do that, they deal with it, alone. ”

I call bullshit !!
If only this cruel practice was not carried out when we were kids our Boys would have been more emotionally stable. They would have been confident to face their insecurities. Talk about what bothered them. Speak up for them selves and for the people they care about. They wouldn’t have been emotionally unavailable.
Boys do cry. They should. They can. It’s beautiful. Someone once told me “Crying is letting your brain take over you emotionally and nothing is more beautiful than trusting your self .” and i’d say this is the best advise I was ever given.

Talking thing over with someone who understands is never wrong. Sharing it with your wife, your friends, family, best friends irrespective of the gender is OKAY. You could either bottle up things that make you feel depressed and eventually turn you into a pessimist and a lunatic or you could chose to walk the other path that does make you breakdown a few walls but helps you builds healthier boundaries. It could be anyone. Your long lost best friend or the guy who sits next to you in class and you just can’t stand him. Or maybe that girl that plays football in your team and your’e too shy to talk. being in friends with people what Click. it very healthy.

It takes a lot of nerve to open up to someone and only strong people can do that. being strong isn’t important. Feeling strong is though. I wish the mothers of our society had raised our boys to feel strong rather than to be strong. but we can start now. You and I. We can help. We can change our perspective about friendships , life and success. sometimes I do not understand if it’s our perspective that has made us so blind to the realities of our “well groomed society” or if we chose to ignore them. getting into a better place requires opening up. sharing your laughs and your tears. only if they had fantasized our boys like they fantasized our girls. A dash of glitter and carriage with a unicorn and all the jewels of the world. it wouldn’t have hurt to also write ” a set of die-cast cars and a whole track to build that takes you anywhere”.

Around me i’v seen many boys who live with the feeling that even their own family doesn’t love them. Fathers raise their sons like their fathers had raised them and grand fathers treat them like their grand fathers had treated them. I hear around me this is a male dominated society but in some spheres of life I have observed it is much more a female dominate society than anything else. The stand of feminism has made us Cruel instead of passionate for a set goal. although this also has its own reasons but my point is why in the race of equality have we fallen so far.

Some where in all this madness there is a child who wakes up every day making sure he makes his family proud and treats his mates right but as the days go by he changes into this lonely little boy who fears his own family and bears all sorts of remarks about himself and then becomes unavailable. this single word holds all that he might be going through ” unavailable”- emotionally. physically. mentally. spiritually and all those other words that describe that he’s shutting down and closing people out.

Then to this adds the game of “better grades”. it’s been proven by a research held out by physiologist all around the world that the amount of anxiety in the teenager of today is the same as the level of anxiety in prisoners of the 1950 asylum. I  know two brothers belonging to the same father. one of them gets zero appreciation while the other scores less yet stills gets remarkable appreciation by the father. Maybe unintentionally but this is the fathers fault that now this child of his has become a prey to alcohol and drugs. Telling your son that you appreciate his efforts won’t make you less of a father and taking a stand for the fathers unjust behaviors won’t make you any less of a feminist mother.

I can very openly say that WOMEN ARE CRUEL TO MEN AS MEN ARE CRUEL TO THEM. but if we don’t change this we will be breeding princesses full of dreams and princes full of foolish games that end up making a shallow feminist. I dare to see a world when our boys feel free to express them selves and are catered the same amount of love and support as our little girls because this is the time when we make our children either beautiful or broken.

PS: this goes out to all those who see such treatment and stay quite.



To MyGod

“There has been sent a letter to you, it says urgent sir .” said my guardian angle to MY god. “Whose it from?” He asked. “That creature in the third world country, Sir” “complains, i’m sure” said MY god.  “emm, i do not know, Sir. Haven’t opened it”. “put it aside , i have work to do”. ” emm, very well then, as you please”. Raising one eyebrow and noticing the disappointed tone of My guardian angle MY god asked “okay, hurry up read it out loud then. “…and it went like

Dear Dost,
I know you have a lot of work to do and maybe i’m the only one among you creatures that keeps reporting in you complaint cell and maybe that is why you don’t bother replying. I’M  SORRY. I know i’m not good at following rules but i do try. I’m very arrogant and rude half of the time and in the other half time i’m confused. I’m brave yet i’m not. I question everything and anything. I’m immature yet quite mature for my age. I feel like i’m going crazy. This once creature that you made believe can do anything of everything is now doubting it’s self and you’re not helping God. I know and believe in that saying that goes around that all that happens is for our greater good and when you take one thing from us you replace it with something better. i do believe in it. but i feel like my faith is shaking. and i know this means i never had a firm faith but that’s not true. i do believe in you dost. i’m just tired of waiting to when you’ll respond to all the postcards i’v sent and all the voice mails and the letters. I’m very ungrateful,  very impatient and very tired. I compromised with the fact that you did not let me chose my family. You told me this wasn’t my choice to make and i understood. And fell in love with them just as you had asked me to. You sent me a post card about 8 years ago that my life was about to get into the process of  who you wanted to make me and I agreed but you never said it would be this long. You knew how impatient i am and have always been. I don’t compromise on my standards and you said I wouldn’t have to. But i guess that is all i’v been doing for a while now. You’ve got me feeling like a child who has been doing nothing productive in days. I don’t like winning about things that bother me. You told me you made me a healer that i’d be able to helps others through my actions and words. i’d give them hope and courage and motivation and bring light into their life. but I feel like I myself is turning into that one toxic person I always asked them to stay away from. I would start up fights without any reason or even a logic. My mood swings are going from noth to east to west and then south all in one minute. And I am a constant stress to my parents, which i never thought i’d be. You told me i was the only optimist in my sphere and that it was job to help creatures see the good light. But I myself can’t see it now. I’m waiting for your response that tells me it’s going to be okay. And i’m very i’m patient for it. I have so much to say but it’s like i have it all processed in my brain but can figure out the the right grammar to explain.
Waiting for your response,
The third world creature.

“okay so, is that it? ” asked MY god.
“emm yes, Sir” replied my guardian angle.
“now write what i tell you to” said MY god as he responded to my Letter.

It’s dark because you’re trying too hard. keep the balance. I told you that I was preparing you for the marvelous life i have saved for you. but you need to learn to do everything lightly.
that’s all i have to say for now ❤ be okay because it’s going to be OK.
YOUR Dost.

“so thats it?” asked my guardian angle.
“Yes that’s it” said MY GOD ” now go post it”.
“it wrote such a long letter and that is you have to say, Sir? ” . ” This was only because it thought it was being complaining and ungrateful but now it knows, it’s going to be okay. do not interfere in OUR matters. we talk 5 times a day. Now go post it”


PS : It’s going to be okay. none of us are too much to handle. none of us is too emotional and none of us is just too much. lets just take this lightly, my child, lightly ❤



But Instead

“Like a compass needle that always points towards the north, a mans accusing finger always finds a women” -Khalid Hussani , an Afghan witter writes in his book “A thousand splendid suns”

We watch, observe, understand yet remain quite because we as a whole are hollow. many years back I came across an attempt to rape victim. From a gregarious person I saw her change, to a very quiet young lady. The days she was to spend with her friends playing and laughing were spend in her room curdled up in her bed. and it was as if no one seemed to notice. or maybe even if they did they dared not speak about it. or call the culprit out, hold him accountable for his actions. I watched the look in that mans eyes when ever she’d be around. and trust me that is a disturbing sight. I tried my best to make her speak about it. encouraged her and forced her to take a stand for her self through which she let her family know. After which i never meet her again. nor did anyone else for that matter. That was the day i realized that we as women are so weak. ONLY BECAUSE WE CHOSE TO BE.

When you see a strong individual you should realize that they were raised by a strong mother. Mothers of previous generations and our generation have provided the society with submissive daughters,only. A mother to a boy was always the pride to a family. While that to a girls was not equal to the latter. The mother to a girl made sure she raised a strong women. The mother to boy made sure she kept her pride first. All mothers are sacred, honorable and respectable but not all raise their kids to the best of their abilities. Some let their upbringing revolve on whats trending, like mothers of our generation. and some raise their kids to the best of their ability , kids being only their daughters. A submissive daughter isn’t weak, but for sure is deprived of her rights. while the same mother raises a monster in shape of a man. We mothers teach our daughters to ” not get raped” but not teach our sons to “not rape” We suppress our daughters but give a free hand to our sons. It isn’t only the mothers faults. We as sisters always encourage our brothers in everything that seems “exciting” . When the mother scolds the son for misbehaving We as fathers snob them saying ” boys will be boys”. Then a day comes when that boy of ours tangles up with a criminal record. an identity which must bring nothing but shame to the family but doesn’t because “boys will be boys” we hear them say and to top that off we have their sisters defending them with baseless unimaginable arguments forgetting that what their brother had done could have been done to their daughters as well. We need to understand that we ARE wrong in raising our sons and in raising our daughters. We as a whole make this society.

We men and women balance each other. If we don’t make our kids understand from the very beginning the DOES AND DON’TS OF A CIVILIZED AND CULTURED society we  will be faced with crimes like rape, abuse, assaults and harassment. MEN AND WOMEN ALL AROUND THE WORLD GET RAPED. I don’t speak in favor of women only nor am I a feminist. But I am a citizen of this crumbling society in which my son and my daughters will not be safe in the years to come. MEN tend to find excuses. WOMEN tend to project them. We need to get out of this battle of sex. We need to rise above it. AND CALL A CULPRIT A CULPRIT. Men can’t just side with a male rapist just because hes of their gender. And women shouldn’t project hate speech against men in the name of Feminism.

BUT instead we need to give our children enough confidence to let them know they are and will be protected. We need to raise our men with as much attention, concern and counselling as our daughters. We need to save the society in which we live for the betterment of our future if not for others. We need strong me. not physically but emotionally. We need concerned mothers to sons not only apparently but in reality as well.

We as Pakistanis have become SADISTS or massacrists ( i know that’s no words). We depend on someone to come save us. But we keep forgetting that even banni-israeel asked Allah for a savior Allah sent Moses, who was a man among them. WE ARE THE CHANGE. We don’t require anyone but ourselves to save us and our society.

PS: Lets change a society that says ” like a compass needle that points towards the north, a mans accusing finger always finds a women” but instead make a society that says ” like a compass needle that points towards the north a sound INDIVIDUALS accusing finger always find the fault” ❤



Sometimes people leave you
halfway through the woods
but you’ve got to grieve not
because no one leaves for good.

Well now you’ve got to listen
understand them well
you know there’s a reason
behind every crying well.

Sometimes people leave you
halfway through the woods
but you’ve got to grieve not
because no one leaves for good.

because they hope that when they come back
you’d understand them well
you’d hold out your hand
and make them cross the hell.

Sometimes people get scared
of what had happen past
they fear the same may come in near and cast.

Sometimes people get scared and lock them selves away
from every loving person
they’v met till that day.

Sometimes people act like
they don’t give a crap
but darling if you think they don’t
might as well look at them at last.

for some days and nights
that’s all I’v thought about
how to say goodbye
to all of you without a doubt
that when i show up again
you’d hold my hand and say;

We know you’ve been through hell
by every passing day
and that sometimes people leave us
because we understand them well
and we know there’s a reason
behind every crying well

because sometimes it’s better to leave
than to stay and hurt all the people
you’v loved till that day.

Sometimes people leave you
as it’s not safe for you if they’d stay
they know they’d break your heart
in the worst possible way

sometimes people leave you
Oh…only if you’d understand
that leaving the people you love
might be the weakest thing at hand

they know you won’t leave them
but they fear you might
Sometimes people leave you
but no one leaves for good.

in the above given stanzas there is only one point that the poet has put emphasis on and that is that when people remove you from their life there might be many reasons behind it. reasons you do not understand. reasons that might not seem reasons either. but the poet says that every one that comes into you life has to leave eventually. some get departed by death. others by time. a few by tides and some very rarely by reason. The poet speaks for those who were left out by reason saying that when someone leaves you out of their life by reason its because they made a choice for the both of them. a choice which might seem absurd yet painful to the other but it is full of thought and wisdom on their behalf. a choice that would shape your future with the peace of mind and provide you with the strength to move on. Not all choices are meant to be easy. especially to chose that leaving a few people out of your life for their betterment and not being able to explain it. The poet says at times you need to trust those people with their decision even if you don’t understand it know that they would never do you wrong. those who make a choice  for you , you should put your trust in them because someone brave enough to make a choice you couldn’t make would never do you wrong. The poet keeps on saying “no one leaves for good” by that the poet wants to assure you that the world is round and its small. shape yourself till time comes and they’ll meet you again. they might pretend that they do not care for you. but that not true. they do care for you. they cared enough to make a choice for you. never doubt their sincerity towards you. forever is a long time. that’s why it doesn’t last. In the end the poet says that maybe what they did was for your and your benefit alone. The world says that you should keep holding on to the people you care about . clearly the poet disagrees to that. the point of the poet is beyond that. the poet is sending a message that one should let them go. so that they themselves find their way back to you and understand you well.

PS: this goes out to all the people. EXTRACT WHAT YOU CAN FROM IT. because every interpretation is different.


Click , for Reading material


They say it gets better. Some say we get used to it. Others just complain. Then there are some who have reasons and some who feel the need to blame. More or less, one way or the other we all say “life isn’t easy”. There are those aswell who understand. Then there are also those who like to vent. We are all the same. Inside out.

From what I have heard Adam (P. B. U. H) was expelled out of heaven. If life was meant to be easy adam would have never been expelled from heaven in the first place. From what i believe when God sent Adam to start life on earth that is when life became hard. And that is how life is supposed to be because what was not hard was heaven nd If we don’t experience hardship how will we strive for the heaven we were kicked out from. There is this poem by starfire in which she says “You have to experience noise to value peace”

God sent us here to make it through this “life” so that when we pass our tests here we endup valuing the heaven that was ours in the first place. We as humans never value something when it is ours. We only realize what we lost when we lose it.

So the sooner we realize that there is no easy way out of this life. The better we will make our way into heaven.

PS : take this positively.


The Wrong Competitor

It’s just a theory that I would like to give voice to. It’s my theory about the war between God and satin . From what I see or force my self to believe ; as we all force ourselves to believe in something ; I think this war is just for the fact that they both had been hurt by each others behavior.

We all do know that satin was one of the creations of God that ruled the earth long before us. He loved God, obeyed him, respected him. From what I have heard satin used to worships God even more than the angels and even though he was a creation of fire he was still made the head of all the angels.

Then came us ; Humans ; Who not only then but up-till now do not mind while taking someone else’s place in an other heart. Its quite real that the pain you feel when being replaced by someone who meant everything to you is a lot to handle  and the replacement being inferior is even more hard to accept.

I find no doubt when its told that satin was one of the Gods’ beloved. and I do not find it difficult to understand how he must have felt when God had asked him to bow down to us. the inferior to him. he must have been hurt. and when one gets hurt there is only two things he does. fight back or retrieve.

And he chose to fight back. that’s where he went wrong ,I believe. Love and pain combined can be a terrible mixture for sure. He should have loved what his love; God; had fell in love with. He should have just put his pride aside and rather than taking on a competition.

Maybe what i am saying is wrong in all ways possible but after all it is just a theory. I feel sorry for him. I feel like maybe God mislead him or maybe he was misled by his pride of being the one and only. It’s quite clear to me that in that time when heaven had been the place of man and satin’s habitat and even now when earth is the habitat of both man and satin there is no one and only other than who God choose to be and we can not compete with God we know that, then why not not just obey him because he loves us. He let go of the one who loved him so much as far as he took a war for us. A war between the loved and the loving.

If i could explain to God I would. though he already understands but i’ll still want to explain to him that he should forgive satin. that all he did was love him. even though he revolted but this competition that satin took up with God was out of anger and jealousy because of US. I have no doubt that if God did listen to me he would surely think about it. and if i could explain to satin i would help to understand that his reaction may have been justifiable if only he had not reacted to his will. For he was wrong and maybe God had been hurt when the satin had reacted that way. Whatever it was if i could ,i would make him understand that all of this would have been justified only i he had not taken on the wrong competitor .

P.S : In life we take up a lot of wrong competitions out of hurt or pain or jealousy and most of them don’t end up so good. more or less like the God and satin. THOUGH GOD IS OF SUCH A PRIDE that he may not be IN ANY SORT OF A COMPETITION WITH ANY ONE  HE WAS THERE WHEN NO ONE WAS AND HE WILL BE THERE WHEN NO ONE WILL BE. nothing affects him and nothing will. but we we leave impressions on each others lives. might as well get in a healthy competition than assembel a war 



Dear diary,
its been almost 2 years now since i have not connected with you. i was preoccupied with what ifs and what not. i had stacked you along with the 10 others.but you are the only one that i bought and did not have the strength to share my thoughts with. i miss writing. i went back in time today. found my 5th grade you. it had my 5th grade me. i read , smiled and laughed at the most random-est things. like the parts where we played pranks to the part where i was late for class. from the show and tell, to the singing competitions. a reel played before my eyes.

i miss how it all used to be you and me. only. no one to interfere. no one to give a verdict about how it was wrong or right. when did i become this public? i do not know. but i miss my privacy.

the black spiral caught my eye then.the three years of my life that turned my world up side down. i learned a lot. i read all that i had told you.flashbacks  from the fights i had back to the confusions and those solutions. that 8th grade me was such a prissy. she  Always knew her way. careless and a drifter.not a bit concerned where life would take her. i turned the leaves of the spiral and a sense of emptiness approached. where was that  me now? maybe she grew up or out grew her self. what ever the case was she was being missed by me.

then came the black pocket book. it had the most surreal of all the memories.From the first day of school to the last day of school. it had a memory of all those that i rarely even talk to now. a glimpse into that teared me up. i miss how we all used to be US. not what we now are. i miss those days when during a heavy rain we all would go out racing to the cafeteria. a simple change of school and we all drifted away. or maybe it was just me, i had always been an introvert.selectively social.

an evolution from the 5th grade me to the 8th grade gangster to an introvert me. to this me. a mysterious mix of an introvert and and extrovert. a pessimist and and a very observant 18 year old. who like to be confined to her own things. strictly follows the the formula of  “the less people you chill with the less crap you deal with”

My dear diary, you never got a record of this me. i never wrote it down. maybe because i was not proud of this me. or maybe this me was a bit too much for even me to handle. but ill tell you today. i’ll write it down on the brown diary. i will tell you all about how and when and why did that me become into someone like this might take a few rewrites but cope with me, will you?  i have been out of practice of expressions.

P.S : cope with yourself. give yourself time. make you realize who you are. even if you know you’re hard.cause you are only as good as your strength of you having yourself together.
AND for those who invade other peoples privacy, you might just be creating a mess for your life here and after. there is no point in any of it. do something with your life. “life is short. cease the day, do something new, each day”




To Save A Heart_ 


Half of it is gone-half of it remains-what have we achieved?! 

At 00:10 am she sits near the Window;closed;staring out in the sky-thinking about all the decisions that built her up. 

That was a positive approach, seemingly-thinking about the positives in life-or was it? 

At the age of 12 she realized only u are ur own savior-at 13 she had a phase-at 14 she realized she was too much to handel-at 15 she tried to let go, care less, cut off, think none-16 was the age she found out she was being selfish and she shut down

17 – no! shutting down isn’t the answer-now a days we find it easy to pretend than to portray our truth-caring less about those that matter to u, pretending to b cool by using foul language, talking nothing but trash

why do we find pretend our only escape? Why do we wanna escape? How can we be satisfied with ourselves knowing we are not what we show people we are. the definition of Cool is very messed up_I’ve observed. 

Caring less, so you wdnt get hurt-being dishonest, just to keep someones heart-lying, in order to save them frm knowning the truth that they should know_only to save a heart-saying u dnt need people, only not to let people know u care

I wonder when and how we all became this’s not cool or attractive not to care-to be dishonest dnt portray u nice-lying doesn’t make u kind-having a grudge dznt make u forgiving-pushing People away won’t make them need u-all of this is what fools do-cool isn’t what we think it is.

SomeTimes in life we need to experience things in order to understand, that’s what I believe..

Sometimes its good to tell ppl how they made u feel-good or bad 

Sometimes time demands us to be brutally honest-to save the ones we care about.

At times u have this pressing urge to be someone’s saviour-to help them-but u can’t find the strength to lend a hand only out of the fear of getting hurt.

But what if, u had lent a hand to that someone-u would have saved a heart, made it believe in the good of this world-if we all stop doing good to others out of the fear of getting hurt-how will anyone be there for the other? How will we survive? 

What if that day-if u had been honest to them you would have saved them frm the fears they now have because of that? 

And what if, u had never had that phase in ur life would have u been this mature? Would have u understood life the way u understand it now? 

would have anyone of us had our reasons to be kind and forgiving if ppl hadn’t been kind to us? If they haven’t forgiven us? 

If u hadn’t realized that you were too much to Handel would have u handled others with care? Do u think you would have been able to understand others if u had never gone through the phase of self realization first? 

To save a heart you need to care-u need to be honest. To Save a heart u need not to let go-u need to live with-to save a heart you need to understand-to express positives and negatives-to save a heart-be it yours or other’s-u need to do all that is in ur might. 

And most importantly to save a heart u need to experience,understand, listen, learn and forgive 

To save a heart u need not to lie rather to help them realize the truth-to save a heart_u need to begin with u!

PS: if u have a heart-u are going to experience a little heartache now and then_it’s call life!  


Cause HE is “HE” 

Remember those words u said,

Well they’re killing me now,

But I won’t put up a fight,

I won’t even make a sound.
It’s like iv been faking,

From then till now,i’m aching

All I think about is WHY?

All I wanna know is HOW?
I remember everything u said,

And I haven’t even written them down,

I promise I won’t put up a fight,

I promise I won’t make a sound.
Cutting people out, with choice

Slitting their throats with words,

Choking them to death,

That’s how you’v made me hurt.
All I’m really wanting now,

Is closing these eyes, for once

because everything seems so wrong,

Everyone is here to hurt.
Do u remember how those rumors spread?

My world went tumbling down,

I couldn’t even put up a fight,

See? I did’nt even make a sound.
Sometimes it’s all too much,

There’s just enough I can take,

And I know you wouldn’t stop me,

You won’t even ask me to stay.
I wonder how my story ends,

But I do know it’s ending soon,

Because all the chapters are done,

And my light is fading too…..


She finished as she sat there infront of the mirror,surprised by the racing tears on her cheeks-this mind of her wanted to rest, even if it was for a while tho she wouldn’t have minded if it rested for eternity-she closed her eyes, allowing her long thick lashes to squeeze all the tears out-she wanted to start over-NEW, somewhere no one would know her-someplace where people were less judgmental-where nothing like pain existed-where it was peace,where the birds would wake her up instead of her fears-where the sunshine lit her face up instead of forcing her to put shades on-where “GENTLE” was every ones middle name-where she could feel loved, needed and important. 

Something like the wind forced her to open her eyes with those long thick;now dry; lashes-there was nothing there but a presence could be felt-like a warm hug from someone who cares about you, the most-and then the words of a very dear person disturbed her observations-U CAN ALWAYS START OVER WITH GOD,AGAIN and AGAIN-CZ HE UNDERSTANDS-and HE WILL LEAD U VERY CAREFULLY-only u need to believe-Looking around,seeing no one she closes her eyes allowing her lashes to rest-but this time in peace-realizing that that voice was hers, the one she lost in the past few years, the her she longed to find again-“tears” were something new to her, she won’t cry before, but now she would because she made a realization that these emotions of her’s was what made her,being only human-she cried like never before,wasn’t sure why she was crying she looked at her self in the mirror and those sobs now lit up her eyes as she smiled-and she decided to start over-knowing she’s found Herself-the most important to her-whom she couldn’t live without-a new start,not a fresh tho-same people, same country, same city-everything was same-but not  her-A new start with God-cause he is HE and he never lets down ! 

PS: God loves u-its okay to take your sinful faces in front of him,he understands,always!


click for love shayari


Ever felt tired of thoughts? This mind of yours that just doesn’t stop racing-won’t make peace wd the heart? Or maybe it’s the heart that won’t make peace with with the mind Or maybe it’s the society we live in, that won’t allow to make peace with one’s self ? 

This racing heart and chaotic minds of ours are a blessing-she said.Why?-she questions her statemstatement-Why?- she repeats. Amused by her own questions she tries to talk to her heart-Hey heart, Why did I just say what I just said? The mind likes it when u suffer-the heart replied. Distrusting what the heart said she tries to ask the mind-Hey mind, what did I just said what I just said? The heart likes it when this chaos keeps u awake at night-  mind replies. Confused and betrayed she lowers into her chaos-like how the missing heartbeats and the scared thought lowered her into something unexplainable. 

It’s amazing how u are ur own inspiration-a friend’s voice said. Not being able to explain how horrifying that felt, she could only manage to smile-and once again that smile of her’s was there to rescue her. That smile she questions now-Who is she fooling? Her self? Or others? Then another argument rises – Just because u have been betrayed by ur heart nd mind doesn’t mean you start fooling yourself? It’s that the only way out? But why do I wanna get out?-even more stunned by her thoughts she lays in her bed starting at the ceiling-BLANK-so many questions-not one answer-WHY!? Frustratingly she tosses nd turns on her sides-Why not?maybe fooling yourself is better than these mixed unclear hazzy blues-she assumes nd then stop-holds her thoughts-ASSUMPTIONS-she smiles knowing she found her disease! 

Though she hasn’t figured out all the answer but she has identified her symptoms nd diagnosed her disease-And now she could breath-knowing she hasn’t lost the battle she’d been struggling to survive!  

Say what u wanna say-pour your thoughts out,clear ur mind,search for answers-dnt assume answers like she did, what if her heart nd mind didn’t betray her? What if all they did was teach her that she needs to b strong enough to  trust her philosophies?

 Her thoughts are chaotic because she’s gifted-because she CAN think and what if she’s proud to be her own inspiration!? NOW THAT’S SOMETHING 

PS: think,question and search-dnt assume answers-there is always space for what ifs nd maybies-dnt stamp ur thoughts-inspire-explore urslf-most importantly dnt run away frm situations-face them.

Mark my wordsevery problem is a beginning of a new journey of self exploration and that leads to wonders-strengths u never knew u had-portray ur best picture in ur mind nd that’s how the world wd see you!